Y’all, how do we face the scary shit?
The shit that bubbles up from our deepest memories. The shit that we have pushed down so hard that we had forgotten it existed. The shit that we never wanted to admit to someone else.
Or even worse, the fear that there are beautiful things ahead. The fear that we don’t deserve the love that is in front of us. The fear that everyone will learn that we are imperfect. The fear that everything tremendous we’ve ever created was a fluke. The fear that our spirits are empty. The fear that we are incapable of ever making a difference to another human being ever again.
You don’t have to push that shit down again.
True courage is not being fearless; it is facing that scary shit head on.
Boxers have entrance music when they enter the ring because even the toughest and most aggressive mofos need to be reminded of the badasses that they truly are.
I challenge you to enter the metaphorical boxing ring totally naked, with no layers shielding you from the audience around you or from the problem that is your opponent.
But put on your entrance music first. (This is mine. Fair warning: there is profanity.)
Remind yourself of who you are. Remind yourself of how brilliant, how sexy, how joyous, how persistent you are. Open your heart to what is about to happen.
Respond to those blows to your ego, those doubts, those insecurities with your own flurries of love and compassion.
When you are exhausted, open your heart even wider. There is love all around you. Tap into it. Absorb it through your skin. Feel it course through your veins. Feel it pour back out of you.
When you are on the verge of collapse, let someone you love be your cutman. Let them dab away the sweat and patch up the worst bleeding cuts.
And then get back to embracing that scary shit.
Although the shit may never truly become less scary, at least the grappling will become easier. You will learn how the shit moves, what makes it flinch, what slows it down. Grapple and scrap and tussle and clutch.
You may be in the ring with that same shit for the rest of your life. Running from it will corrode you from the inside, but active confrontation will cultivate your strength, your passion, and your honesty.
This brawl will strengthen your resolve to pour yourself into the community that supported you through it.
This fight will enable you to love others more empathetically through their own struggles.
This clash will give piercing insight to your creative expression.
This conflict will clarify you.
The ring is ready when you are. I’m here to be your cutman if you need me.
Let’s get to it.
See more posts about being vulnerable here.